


I Saw the Sharknado Sign

by alexofmacedonia



Category: Pitch Perfect (2012), Sharknado (Movies)
Genre: Crack Crossover, Crack Treated Seriously, F/F, Fluff and Crack, Other, implied future bechloe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-21
Updated: 2014-08-21
Packaged: 2018-02-14 02:50:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2175330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexofmacedonia/pseuds/alexofmacedonia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beca uses her recent readings of Sharknado smut to get the Bellas out of rehearsal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Saw the Sharknado Sign

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't meant to be taken seriously. At all. But it's something I published on my tumblr last September, forgot about, and then cried from laughing when I found it again, so here you go.
> 
> The fic title is a play off the lyrics from "The Sign" by Ace of Base.

_Nathaniel gnashed his rows of hundreds of teeth against each other, tossing his rubbery upper half wildly to and fro, his tail fin working to keep him swimming in line with the other sharks nearby. Of course, only one shark nearby mattered._

_Julie winked her eyes at him, well, blinked at him, but he knew she was winking with her soul. Using her gorgeous pectoral fins, she glided into place beside him._

_Oh, how Nathaniel had longed for the day when he could make passionate shark love to Julie! They had been newly hatched, freshly churning in this ever turning tornado filled with sharks, and he knew from first glance that she was the ravenous, toothy, bloodthirsty fish for him._

_He opened his mouth to woo her, ‘SHARAKAHAHASHARRRR!’_

_It was the sweetest thing any shark had ever said to her. Julie smiled. Well, she would smile, if she had lips. She knew Nathaniel could tell she liked his pickup line. ‘SHRAKARASHAKAHAR,’ she replied in a sultry tone._

Beca couldn’t stop her shoulders from shaking with the effort of not laughing. This Sharknado fanfiction was the most ridiculous thing she had ever encountered, but it was _so. Good_. She had to stop reading though, or her chuckles would escape and turn into an uproarious barking laugh that would never end.

Her finger clicked the lock button on her phone and she surreptitiously slid it back into the back pocket of her jeans. Zoning back in on Aubrey’s speech about the upcoming Delta Kappa Mu showcase, Beca remembered exactly how much she didn’t want to be there.

"We have to be the aca-best, people! We will not allow what happened at the SBT Fall Mixer to happen again, am I clear?" Her sharp tone dug deep into Beca’s brain, and all the brunette could imagine were the old men hecklers from The Muppet Show. She knew if she started doing that, though, the Bellas captain would promptly toss her out of rehearsal. There had to be some other way to make this day pass more quickly.

"Alright ladies! Let’s get into position for ‘I Saw the Sign’!" Aubrey waited ten seconds for the rest of the women to take their places before she started counting, "One, two, three, four…."

They all began vocalizing and moving as one, Chloe began singing her part, and Beca watched in the back of her mind as her body went on autopilot (which she found hilarious, given their flight attendant outfits and let-me-guide-you-to-the-nearest-emergency-exit fingers). This place needed a little more fun….

Somewhere in the middle of Fat Amy’s slightly jazzed-up version of ‘Turn the Beat Around’ (but not too jazzed-up, as Aubrey didn’t want to push their luck after their win at Regionals), Beca had started remembering the Sharknado fanfiction she’d been reading. She opened her mouth to vocalize whatever it was she was supposed to, and “SHARAKAHAHASHARRRR!” came out instead. It took everything in Beca’s power not to stop short and clap her hands over her mouth.

A couple of the other Bellas’ heads whipped around to see where the weird sound had come from, but Beca smoothly maneuvered herself back into their set.

Their second time through the same songs, Beca thought it would be funny to do it again, this time in a different part of the same song.

By the third time she tried it, Fat Amy had caught on that it was her, but managed to keep her own laughter down so as not to give the smaller girl away.

When she did it twice in the same set, Aubrey stopped everyone and started marching back and forth in front, yelling, “What is that sound? One of you is messing up on purpose, and I demand to know who!” Lilly tried telling her that it was probably the zombies living in the secret bunker below her dorm room finally breaking free to kill them all, but no one heard her confession.

After a minute and no one (except Lilly) confessed, Aubrey let out an exasperated groan and ordered them back into line.

Three more Sharknado outbursts and three more Aubrey-nado outbursts later (“Beca Mitchell, I know it’s you! What the hell are you doing?” “I am appalled at your accusation, Aubrey! I want to win as much as you, so why wouldn’t I be practicing?”), Stacie and Jessica had caught on to Beca’s antics as Chloe began trying to convince her best friend that that last one had been her.

"Bree, you know my nodes have been flaring up! It isn’t fair to-" Chloe bent over in a violent fit of coughing. Beca was concerned when Chloe stood back up straight, and with a wheezing voice, continued to tell Aubrey that her nodes were affecting her performance.

The blonde threw her hands in the air and crossed the floor to grab a bottle of water. Walking back over to Chloe and handing the water to her, she addressed the group, “I can see we’re getting nothing done today. I’m sorry I pushed you too hard, Chloe. We’ll pick this back up tomorrow at 4pm sharp!” She yelled the last part so the quickly departing Bellas could hear.

Water bottle in hand, Chloe ran to catch up with Beca once she was out of the auditorium. “Nice shark impressions in there,” she remarked with a grin, playfully elbowing the other girl.

Beca shot back her trademark smirk, “Not as good as your nodes one.”

"So I wondered, since we have all this free time now, if you’d like to go back to your dorm and read Sharknado fanfics? I found more erotic ones last night and thought you’d enjoy them."

"I’m more than happy to spend as much time as I can with you," Beca replied. The redhead awarded her with a glowing smile and linked their arms.

She had no intentions of telling her, but Chloe wrote the fanfictions herself in hopes of spending more time with her new friend.

**Author's Note:**

> come find me on tumblr - bibecamitchell


End file.
